A friend died yesterday and I can’t stop crying.  I knew he was sick and not doing well, but his death has taken my breath away.

He was close to my age and only last week when we chatted and he was positive he was going to kick this ‘infection’.  Today I found out it was cancer and true to his form, he didn’t burden many people with the truth or the seriousness of his condition because he thought more about others than himself.

When he told me that his doctors told him to get his affairs in order, I didn’t believe him.  When he started to cry, I still didn’t think it possible.  I am struggling because he was young, he was a caring person, he was incredibly strong and as I told him – if there was anyone that could beat this – it was him.  He didn’t let anything push him around, and that is what I loved about him. I wish I could bottle that strength and power for future use.

He would be so disappointed.  He would be disappointed that his body gave up on him because his brain was sharp right till the end.

I am sad, I have lost an inspirational business mentor and friend.  I have lost someone who I could turn to, and no matter what – he would be there for me.  I am sad for the young family he left behind.

Then today in an unrelated matter, a friend shared with me how she is being bullied at work.  I know the bully, because I too have felt the brunt of his actions and words – and I can’t help but feel sorry that my friend is gone and the bully is still here.  I know, harsh, but that is how I feel.  I feel ripped off, as I am sure so does his kids and wife.

What is very real to me today, is that cancer is impossible to reason with.  That even the strong and courageous and undeserving can fall.

(Deep breath)  I have always believed that from every difficult challenge or situation there is always a solution or positive element we can take away, but sometimes life is so unfair that it is difficult to see anything positive from such a tragedy.

The only thing I can do to stop myself from feeling totally powerless – is to never give cancer a capital c.

I will miss you Mikey Mike.

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